Dear Reader;
It is Easter Monday, April 18, 2022 in Toronto, and it is snowing heavily outside my window. Regardless of our faith, Spring brings the gifts of renewal and resurrection, but sometimes just when we think we are barefoot and free, a cold wind comes to tease us. Desire, counterpoint, and desire once again.
We do not leave the dark behind, we transform our relationship to it. And thus the whole world becomes ours in which to play.
This transmission is perfect for the moments when it feels as if you are being struck from all sides, when your willingness collapses, when you are unable to see your way. The times when others expect you to be strong and uplifted, but your heart insists that you want to weep.
We may practice the discipline of intention, but sometimes there is nothing to do but surrender. And as we do, we discover there is nothing amiss. Nothing wrong or mistaken. The alchemist in search of gold must begin with the taste and memory of lead.
If these words are resonant, speak them aloud. Feel them, rather than think them. Prayer can be anything you wish it to be, though it must be genuine. Let it above all be true.
much love, Adi
DARK PRAYER - Aug 28 04 I pray for understanding when I do not understand myself I pray for survival when I can find no reason to live I pray for deliverance when I do not believe there is any escape I pray for an ending when I just don't know how I would begin again I pray for the discovery of beauty on a day when I cannot see I pray for rest in the night that has no answers I pray for compassion finally compassion for the woman that I am the soul that I am in all my naked mistakes my bitter doubts and the final lonely voice of hope that tries to speak even when her tongue is cut away To not care seems the farthest dream and yet I know still it is the answer for now the caring the concerns I feel are all fear all the expectation of disappointment and this I would live without
I pray that the darkness I find tonight will pass through tunnelling into itself leaving no trace as the source of my breath continues to offer it to me over and over taste after taste of life that reminds me I am choosing I am choosing this life this truth this moment I pray for companionship all my days for it is the presence of angels that protects me from the worst of myself and that reminds me that tomorrow I will be someone new someone awake someone closer to the wonder I have always been
ps.. I would love to hear your thoughts about what kind of posts you most enjoy. What most interests you and supports you in these extraordinary times?
Raining here. There seems something redemptive in rain. Forgiveness, cleansing. "I pray for compassion for the woman that I am, the soul that I am in all my naked mistakes, my bitter doubts."
🙏🏼