Dark Prayer

Transmission: On the Rising

Dear Reader;

It is Easter Monday, April 18, 2022 in Toronto, and it is snowing heavily outside my window. Regardless of our faith, Spring brings the gifts of renewal and resurrection, but sometimes just when we think we are barefoot and free, a cold wind comes to tease us. Desire, counterpoint, and desire once again.

We do not leave the dark behind, we transform our relationship to it. And thus the whole world becomes ours in which to play.

This transmission is perfect for the moments when it feels as if you are being struck from all sides, when your willingness collapses, when you are unable to see your way. The times when others expect you to be strong and uplifted, but your heart insists that you want to weep.

We may practice the discipline of intention, but sometimes there is nothing to do but surrender. And as we do, we discover there is nothing amiss. Nothing wrong or mistaken. The alchemist in search of gold must begin with the taste and memory of lead.

If these words are resonant, speak them aloud. Feel them, rather than think them. Prayer can be anything you wish it to be, though it must be genuine. Let it above all be true.

much love, Adi

DARK PRAYER - Aug 28 04

I pray
for understanding
when I do not understand myself
I pray
for survival
when I can find no reason
to live
I pray
for deliverance
when I do not believe
there is any escape
I pray
for an ending
when I just don't know
how I would
begin again

I pray
for the discovery of beauty
on a day
when I cannot see
I pray
for rest
in the night
that has no answers
I pray
for compassion
finally
compassion
for the woman that I am
the soul
that I am
in all
my naked mistakes
my bitter doubts
and the final lonely voice
of hope
that tries to speak
even when her tongue
is cut away

To not care
seems the farthest dream
and yet I know still
it is the answer
for now
the caring
the concerns I feel
are all fear
all the expectation
of disappointment
and this
I would live
without

Photo by Saksham Gangwar on Unsplash..

I pray
that the darkness
I find tonight
will pass through
tunnelling into itself
leaving no trace
as the source of my breath
continues to offer it to me
over and over
taste after taste of life
that reminds me
I am choosing
I am choosing
this life
this truth
this moment

I pray
for companionship
all my days
for it is the presence
of angels
that protects me
from the worst
of myself
and that reminds me
that tomorrow
I will be
someone new
someone awake
someone closer
to the wonder
I have always
been

adi.kanda

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ps.. I would love to hear your thoughts about what kind of posts you most enjoy.  What most interests you and supports you in these extraordinary times?