Dear Reader;
Welcome to Part Five in a series of writings on Healing the Primary Sexual Wound.
Part Five: The Age of Creation: Birth, Art, Dimensional Beingness
We have been taught that the history of humankind is marked only by wars and conquerors, yet just as there is a personal evolution of the soul, is there not also the journey of the oversoul, the collective impulse which leads us as a sentient species into and through the many phases of expansion? From ages of pure survival to the harnessing of the machine, to the new religion of science, we have rolled through the layers of ignorance, always searching, reacting, responding to the joys and sufferings of our days.
But now, more than ever before, we embark upon the time of Creation, even as we witness the world as we have known it, dissolve before our eyes. All that was once built with blood and tears, now comes tumbling down and we realize this time, this time we create not with our weapons, not with our industry, not within a virtual reality, but rather with the truth of a generated transcendence, born from our own spirits and hearts.
Did you know that every moment of every day, you create? Did you know that you become anew, over and over again, each time in a space of possibility, just waiting for us to recognize, to perceive, a little more each time.
We are children in front of blank paper, our hands full of colours, every day. This is our art. There is nothing else that matters. Just as so much around us is dying, we find the perfect opportunity to be born again.
We have thought of birth as a beginning, and yet, what of the gestation? What of that which has gone before? Perhaps birth is a culmination, the opening of a door.
When two lovers join and a child is desired, then the force of their permission is forged in union, as the spark of conception is ignited. All intimacy may not lead to birth, but all birth begins in intimacy. Creation is not only our purpose, but simply who we are. As those who exist to create, we watch as Spirit becomes indistinguishable from pure creative essence, which has become indistinguishable from Spirit. This is the fullness, the wholeness of a sexuality reclaimed from the wound which once kept us so far away from love.
I remember the moment vividly. It was late at night, and I sat alone in my room at my computer, preparing to receive a transmission. I asked to be connected to a source of exalted love, and it was given to me in a way I had never imagined. As if I had been standing on the porch waiting while Heaven snuck in the back door. I can say that now, but in the moment I had no idea. I was immersed, absolutely.
In an altered state we are no longer looking through the same eyes, hearing through the same ears, thinking through the same mind. We are in experience rather than thought, or at least it is so for me. So the same body does not walk through the door from one room to another, the body somehow disappears as the door disappears and you realize there never were any rooms after all.
When that state happens to be culminating bliss, then we are not separate enough from the moment to have a conversation with it, and so there is no time, no end. When beauty is endless, then we lose our fear of loss, and we let go the need to make anything happen or not happen. How can we give effort to control; why be afraid of the end of that which is limitless?
The times I have been blessed by the depths of such a dissolving embrace, I knew that I would not remain there, and that I would return to this material way of being. But I also was in certainty that this orgasmic frequency is the truth. It is infinite, and it is everywhere. The frequency of Love is as encompassing and real beyond this realm as a mother’s love is familiar and real in our human world. But it is the Great love, of the great Mother, and its vastness will melt your skin and explode open your heart.
This, my children, is the fuel within your human life force expression. This is why you were given exquisite arousal, not to bury it, not to shame it, not to run from it in fear. Your sexuality is so much more than is understood, or even dreamt. Most of you remain at this level of a child with a toy, unwilling or unready to step into the realm of the real. The mechanics of your love-making are but a gateway, and when you are ready to breathe through dimensions, there will you find your bliss. It is not just a word, it is everything. It is home.
Imagine the moment you fall in love with someone, and then magnify that by a hundredfold, a thousand times; then slowly, very slowly allow this sensation to fill your entire being, your body and the field around you. The frequency of beauty, of the most mind-bending, exquisite beauty flooding through your entire body, originating at your core and flooding out in radiant waves, from your pulsing feet to a glowing fan of light beyond the top of your head. It is so wrenchingly beautiful, tremors ripple through your muscles, and tears warm your face. You need to be nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing. You surrender.
This is a moment of realization, of grace. Anyone who has ever had such an experience, even for a few breaths, will never forget it, because it is the truth. All the rest becomes the lie.
There is a reason you were born. And that reason is inextricably interwoven with your life force energy, your creative and sexual, sensual and blissful presence, your permission for being alive. You chose this, all of it. You were grateful beyond measure for this opportunity to incarnate. You knew suffering would come. You said yes, absolutely, and you leapt. You flowed.
Now it is time to leap again, to remember that Heaven from where you stand today. To hold fast to this truth, the one which is born from within you, from which place you now generate everything, as Creator, maker, lover, friend.
You are love, and you are loved. I am love, and I am loved. Say these words, again and again. May this be our mantra, as we rise above.
September 2 05 How do I know that god lives? I have experiences that connect me with this Spirit and so I can say that I no longer have to have faith I have the knowledge of living it and so I see Faith proven and I am glad I have believed and that my beliefs were not wrong I have felt the dizzying presence of angels and ancestors and so now I can accept their truth in my life I have seen the burning consciousness of Christ and it is beyond words I have curled up upon the lap of the Buddha and tasted the tears of his compassion for me known the pure touch of mother Mary upon my brow heard the haunting melodies of Yahweh lived the deep roar of Shakti felt the breath of Allah and his sweet, sweet poetry grace my tongue And so never again can I take doubt seriously never again will all love run I will instead begin to treasure my moments of embrace by the divine as I have never treasured them before to see that they are not only my redemption but also the explanation of all the suffering I have known in this world I have known such love and lost such love as I will never be able to tell but the knowing of it the living of it as I am blessed to have done is the actual essence of the prophets, teachers yogis and poets the place where separation ends and all beauty and I are One I am given a taste of the infinite each time And any day that follows me with its weeping I will listen and honour the call if my heart is once more breaking and simply needs to cry Because I no longer imagine bliss I no longer just hope for god I now live instead in a world of every mystical Truth It is a home I can no longer deny So hold me in your arms you holy men you gods and goddesses let it be your faces I see let it be your magic I remember when I am pulled by the illusions of this life May I never forget every moment you have claimed me but next time simply linger instead and let this be part of the awakening that I have seen god and so god Eternally lives
much love, Adi