The Selfish Artist
Truth or Dare?
Dear Reader;
In recent weeks I have observed a theme rising up amongst clients, friends and authors online, expressions of deep longing for a return to the aliveness of creative expression and one’s own authentic nature. Where once there was endless talk about hustling, marketing tips and how to conquer the algorithm, scrolling in search of exercise routines, investment strategies, or how to wake up at 5 A.M. and be ready for a cold plunge, suddenly everyone wants to retire to a cabin in the country to read books by the fire while sipping a cup of hand-picked lavender tea.
If you are a writer, that vision includes a pen in hand. If you are a painter, you are holding your brush. If you are a creator of any kind, there is no more waiting to retire, it has to happen now.
It would make sense that the glut of information, influencers, and inspirational memes would one day take a toll, but I believe it runs deeper than this. This is a kind of return to the Self, one that is long overdue. A rebalancing, a return to birthing from within, rather than endlessly consuming what is heaped upon us by an agitated, external world.
I began to notice this impending shift months, if not years ago, but the escalation in recent days has felt unstoppable. It is as if the whisper in one’s ear has become a shout, You are here for a reason. Whatever is empty in your life, stop it. Whatever fills you up, do it. There are no more days to waste. Time is Now.
This impulse may be universal; I cannot say and would love to hear from you, Dear Reader, if you feel this way too.
But what is clear is that those who have an inner artist, author, or musician, those who can taste the eros of creation on their tongues, can no longer resist. And make no mistake, it is resistance that has kept us from this joy.
How dare you play with paints while the world crumbles around you? Who do you think you are, scribbling poetry when there are bills to be paid?
Perhaps the planetary poles are shifting, and this has tilted our perception of reality to a new view. Perhaps visitations from alien orbs have awakened our hearts and loins in an altogether new way. Or perhaps the cleansing of our false world and concurrent awakening of transcendent energies has unleashed a taste of freedom, the permission to say, when I create, I come alive. When I am creating, I remember my Creator, and my heart remembers who I am.
Imagine a world where each of us were to claim such permission. Imagine the healing, when the power of expression, of story-telling, theatre and art, were to become a daily practice.
The transmission which follows is a personal one received for a woman twenty years ago, an indication that this principle is not new to our times, but rather magnified. The question she asks is an inspired one, not just for those with a sleeping inner artist, but for everyone who feels emotion, witnesses beauty, and desires expression. In other words, for us all.
A woman asks: How can I open up to my higher creativity?
THE ARTIST SPEAKS – Dec 14 05
The journey
of the creative awakening
is always found
in the willingness to awaken also
to the Self
It has been said
so often
that the artist
is selfish
the artist
lives only in her own world
the artist is the solitary
the uncaring soul
and while this is not
a perspective of wisdom or understanding
it does contain within it
an important grain of truth
about how to become
the artist
that you have always wished to be
Since the beginning of time
the artistic nature of women and men
has arisen
as an expression
of the soul
an internal impulse
to portray, represent, communicate
the truths
of the human heart
And it is through the honouring
of the drive to create
that the power of the medium
is revealed
when it comes
from the heart’s desire
rather than the head’s interpretation
of how to please
those who might respond
And so
in order to fully create
to open the powers
of connection
which is what creation is
the further one can travel
into the authenticity of the Self
the more quickly one can tell the truth
about what the heart
is aching to say
In you
there are two selves
who have yet to meet one another
One is the pull to the memory
of the artist that you have been
in other lives
the one who remembers
who values
who hungers for a chance
to return
to the intelligence
of the artistic eye
And the other you
is one who prefers to be nice
to fit comfortably
into the expectations of others
at any price
The two
have not yet
been in conflict
because they are kept
at a distance
like feuding relatives
held at bay
by the diplomatic hand
of the worrier who would rather have peace
than the distress of blatant honesty
held up
before the world
The pleasing one
holds a kind of illicit admiration
for the artist she keeps
behind curtains
a warm feeling
a wishful longing
but nothing
to make her consider
freeing her creative self
from the exile
she has decreed
The artist
waits in solitude
a quiet embarrassment
over the false front
that keeps her from expressing
but she knows
she knows the ways of the heart
and that this partner of hers
lives in fear
for every artist
recognizes fear
all too well
The pleaser
however
denies the level of her fear
in fact
she is quite content
feeling herself to be
successful at daily life
in many ways
managing never
to rock the boat
never to take risks
and somehow keep smiling
through it all
But of course
the irony is
that these two
are meant for one another
that each one
is at this moment
an integral part
of the other
and your work
has to do
with both parts
of your whole
The pleaser
would not exist
without the artist
The reason
she works so hard
to be so perfect
is because deep
deep inside
she knows
that she is in fact
something quite different
from the face
she shows the world
and it is
her fear of what this means
that keeps her pretending
all the while
The artist
as she has lived
so far
is quite dependent
upon her anonymity
for she is never asked
to do very much
never called upon
to be seen
in any way
and so she has become used
to the comfortable exile
that is her world
and she responds
by thinking small
acting small
and never daring
to go anywhere near the depth
of her heart
Each one
holds curiosity
and some respect for the other
Each one
has signed the agreement
to keep things
as they are
nice
non-threatening
and neat
And of course
your soul’s choice
is not to live in this way
any longer
but to awaken
to the challenge
of scaring both parts
of the equation
into action
by telling the pleaser
to take a holiday
and bringing the artist
out to play
When you ready yourself
for this new consciousness
be prepared
for resistance to come
You may believe
that you want
the truth of your creative self
to arise
and while this is willingness
indeed
there is a voice
that does not want
any change
and it will sing out
trying to prevent
the birth
of the new
The pleaser
will recoil
for she believes
that she is the reason
life works
at all
She will find it
very difficult
to respond differently at first
for in order to transform
this energy
she must examine
what safety she seeks
by not pleasing
by not caring
what others think
at all
There is a great payoff
in being likable
and an emptiness will come
when you turn away
yet
this very space
is created for the next one
the artist’s way
She too
however
will resist you
for she fears
that she is a charlatan
and to be asked now
to value herself enough
to put herself
before the desires of others
this
is the great leap
this
will make her weak at the knees
at first
until she starts to see
how the declaration
of her value
is so important
in terms of letting her gifts
finally show
She will question
her worth
at every turn
Is this a good idea?
What about the real work
of life
what about all the things
that are more important
than me?
How can you spend time on me
when there are others who need you?
How can you value me
when I’m probably not able
to achieve your dreams?
She will become
the master of excuses
as to why not
not today
not now
not here
not anywhere
in order to keep her place
in the periphery of your vision
out of the way
and out of the sun
And her reluctance
will make it all the easier
for the pleaser
to slip back in
Well, there’s nothing
more important to do
so I’ll take charge
and feel good
for awhile
Know that
this awakening
will bring discomfort
and this is good
this is a sign
of movement
and growth
and change
You will take your patterns
of guilt
and let them rise
till the pleaser wants to die
with shame
rather than simply express
who you would rather be
and remember
that this shame
leaves the body
through expression
so do not fear
that it has claimed you
for instead
your healing descent
has begun
And in this allowing
the passion
of the creator
will speak in you
saying yes
this is the stuff of life
this is the way of love
as I unveil my grief
my anger
and my fear
each in turn to be seen
and become ripe
for expression
in the greatest beauty
I have to offer
the world
It is this unequivocal love
beginning in the Self
without the need for reflection
in the eyes of others
that is the pure force
living in the creative impulse
the same one
that brings life into beingness
at the hand
of god
I am
therefore I create
and no other permission
is required
Deny no part of yourself
Awaken to the glory
of your shadow
and then live this journey
Thus speaks the artist
in each of us
and she rises up
as glorious as all Nature
who makes no mistake
suffers no mortality
and is nothing
if not Beauty
for she is all
Is it not the time?
Is it not your time?
Has it not already begun?
much love, Adi
