When the Pain is Great

What Can I Do?

Dear Reader;

Our Mother Earth is shifting, Spirit is rising, and we are all experiencing intense energies that push our fears out of darkness into light. Crisis looms, and our strength is tested. There are nights when the darkness is enveloping, when we feel so alone, when the future looks hopeless, and we lose sight of possibility. It may be a political tragedy, a home in flames, the passing of a loved one, a rejection by a lover, a lost friendship, or bad news about health or money, but at times we are asked to face painful circumstances that can take us on a downward spiral into depression and despair.

Here are twelve loving suggestions of what to do in the weeks, days, and moments when your inner resources seem depleted and your heart too tired to make it till morning.

I’ve got you. We’ve got one another. Your Love is beautiful.

12 Ways to Remember Love

1. Believe beyond what you can see with your eyes. We are here to let go of our fear and learn to trust, and that trust must be blind. You may not be able to envision the answer to your question or the end to your pain in this moment, but that does not mean transformation is not underway. Even on the darkest of days, perhaps especially in the darkest of nights, you are safe in the arms of the Creator. No matter how alone you feel, the greater truth is that you are loved, and exactly where you are meant to be. If your pain is great, know that your soul is equal to this moment in courage and strength. If your faith feels weak, borrow faith from others who are still strong; I promise you they are there for you. There is plenty of love for us all.

2. You are enough. All suffering is rooted in a perception of lack, and often if we look deeply enough, it is ourselves we find lacking. When we lose a loved one to death or a lover to disinterest, what we grieve the most is our sense of the Self we once were, yet every challenge we face inspires our expansion. As a child of Spirit/Source/God/Goddess, you are absolutely worthy of divine love as your birthright. You cannot make a mistake that will drive away the Creator’s love for you. Know that you are beautiful and perfect in all your evolutions, and any other thoughts you have are the illusion of doubt. Allow such thoughts to dissolve and depart as you mourn, like the mist from a lake at dawn.

3. Fill your cup. There is nothing more important right now than nurturing and healing your spirit. You can only fulfill your soul’s purpose and authentically serve others to the degree that you have liberated your own being. Wait no longer to give yourself what has felt missing. Do you have a daily practice of prayer, meditation, chanting or breathwork? Can you walk amongst the trees, or lift your eyes away from the screen and up to a night sky full of stars? Do you read material that feeds your spiritual hunger and uplifts you? Can you listen to music that elevates your frequency and calms your nervous system? Do you give and receive random hugs and loving words? Know that anything that gets in the way of caring for your own emotional and spiritual needs arises from the fear that you are not worthy of time, space, tenderness or peace. This choice is yours to make. True self-nourishment must begin within.

4. Choose moments of quiet. Bring your attention to silence, for it is out of deep silence that the truth may be heard, and the truth is all you really need to feel safe again. Practice turning off screens, ringers and notifications. Cancel whatever is in your appointment book. Shut down distractions and background noise. Resist the temptation to fill that empty space, until after you have bathed in it for a while. There is plenty of time for words, grace and wisdom to be born from your silence. First, listen deeply to the nothingness, and heal.

   

5. Choose moments to speak. Peace does not happen by accident; it must be claimed. Habits of submission and self-denial may seem temptingly safe, but they will trap you in patterns of victimization and suffering. When the time is right, the courage to use your voice and self-expression, to honour your desires, dreams and visions, must be found. Are you carrying the weight of old passivity on your shoulders? Have you forgotten how it feels to make a big noise? Find a space, in the woods, in the shower, in a car by yourself, and let the power of your voice pour out of you. Chant with monks, wail a hurtin’ song, shout expletives that you would never say in public because, if they live in you, they are waiting for release. Once permission is claimed, your frequency will shift, and you will stand tall once again.

6. Create. Your creative Self is your life force power. It is not a guilty pleasure but the essence of your birth, and your future. Becoming conscious of how you are creating everything is the most important act of your days and nights. One of the ways to do this is to practice the muscle of creation through allowing the creative spirit to flow through you. It can be birthed in a thousand ways: journaling, painting, poetry, working with clay, or making beauty with food, gardens, clothing or your home. Every communication, object, visual in your life is an opportunity for creative expression. You will conquer and heal with your art, whatever it may be.

7. Dare to open your heart. Love is the answer to fear. Your body cannot hold both at once, so when you are inspired to open your heart to a full warmth, to love and be loved, fear is banished. I have been hurt, you say. The world is full of duplicity, you say. Yet the open-heartedness of which we speak rises above human failings and disappointments. It even includes them. Tibetan monks in Chinese prisons practice open-heartedness toward their captors. This may not change the nature of their oppressors in that moment, but it sets free the spirit of the captive. Leading with heart-love can be a conscious daily exercise, or it may be invoked through meditation and prayer. Do this for yourself, and for the world.

8. Be intentional. Designate specific, protected time for what your soul needs: presence, love-making, play, rest, movement, or nature. What gives your life meaning and delight? Can you book these elements into your daily routine, rather than waiting for them to randomly fall from the heavens after all the work is done? Implement a gentle structure in your schedule, to remind you to prioritize nurturing elements. Notice the resistance you may experience when you dare to place your own soul-healing first. Then notice how much more energy, compassion and health you have when you follow through.

   

   Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

9. Find a reason to laugh. You are allowed to feel good, even during hard times. Not only do you have permission for joyful feelings, but it is recommended. Living with a habitually heavy heart is of no help to anyone. Grant yourself moments of fun, play, and laughter in the midst of it all. These impulses still exist in you and are always accessible, even in times of stress, loss, or anxiety. They can make all the difference in how you navigate a crisis, and they provide the balance to unavoidable pain in life. Switch up the news and watch a comedy instead. If your children are grumpy, start a pillow fight. Hold a pun competition. Find the silliest video on social media and laugh until your belly hurts. Invite joy in as many ways, and as often as possible, without apology. Laughter is the gift of the gods.

10. Nourish your physical essence. Honour the life force of your physical body as a profound blessing from the Creator. Your body breathes, it lives. Without your physical health, every part of your life is compromised. Care for your body as you would care for a beloved, and it will reward you. Do you need more food, less food, or better food? Do you need a warmer blanket, or cool fresh air? Will it be a scented bath, a long shower or a massage? When was the last time you visited a yoga class, or holistic practitioner to renew your energy, flexibility, strength or digestion? Commit to your physical well-being. Ask your body conscious questions, and listen, for it is your sacred vessel. Your body will always respond to love, especially your own.

11. Appreciate. Look around you and let yourself witness the blessings you already have, in this very moment. Love them. Use them. Acknowledge them. This is not a modern practice, but the most ancient wisdom. There are two ways to walk in this world: in constant focus on what you lack, or intentional gratitude for all you embody. You don’t have to be alive, you get to be alive until your time with this body is done. You don’t have to love others, you get to love life, even the tough stuff. You may think you are being thankful for someone else, but you are also calling in one of the most pure frequencies to your own being. Invite constant appreciation of every step of your journey and you cannot help but initiate further blessings to unfold.

12. Take a higher view. Remember this material life truly is a piece of theatre, and when you are liberated from it, you will look back upon the costumes, the illusion of the song and dance, and find that beyond it all is an immortal, encompassing Love so vast, everything else will pale in the face of it. You will one day step off the human stage and be faced with such clarity, you will see how much energy is given to small things of no consequence. Now imagine you have that insight today, while you still live, breathe and walk the pathways of your life. Imagine that even the chaos and turmoil of the world have their place in the theatre, even the meanies, the crazies and the clowns are purposeful, and as the collective cleanses a deep shadow, we can all learn to trust beyond the division and fear. This capacity is the Godself speaking through you. It is who you truly are, and why you chose to incarnate at this time. Let us rise up together.

    

    Photo by Daniel Lloyd Blunk-Fernández on Unsplash

Dear Reader, may these loving invitations provide you with fuel to transform the dark days of your heart. Of course, we will not remember all of them, nor will we find a final answer to our human predicaments in any theory or practice. We are meant to live our tragedies and miracles, to keep placing one foot in front of the others, even as the sky seems to fall, and paradigms collapse around us.

I would be delighted to hear your thoughts about these principles, and any of your own that support you in your human-ness. When we share our hurt and our transformations with one another, we remember that separation is the greatest illusion of all. I send all the warmth of my heart to yours, and thank you for traveling with me in this magical time upon our Earth. I love you all.

Finally, in honour of the power of our art to heal, here is a heart-opening tune of sweet homage called Your Love is Beautiful, by Ashley Condon. If her words speak to you, know that your Creator holds you beyond any words, beyond even the most magical melody. Today, and forever, your love is indeed beautiful.

much love, Adi