Dear Reader;
Once I had a lucid dream wherein I was falling from a great height, just like Nicholas Cage in ‘City of Angels.’ As I plummeted earthward, I could feel the harsh air on my face, pulling my hair straight up with the force of my speed. At first I panicked, and a pure, full-body terror took over. I thought, “This is it. Prepare yourself for the impact, because you are going to die.” I waited for the pain, for the immense trauma of hitting the ground, wherever it lay, from whatever great height I had fallen.
It didn’t come. I waited, and still, it didn’t come. I continued to fall, more and more, further and further, until I realized there was nothing to hit, no bottom, no end. Then, in that realization, my entire being filled with an ecstatic freedom, beyond gravity, beyond primal fear. I was not flying, but neither was I dying. I was in freefall, in absolute surrender, and blessedly, miraculously, there was no end. This was not a dream about the cruelty of death, but rather a message about the eternal nature of being. If only I would allow.
How many times do we die within each life? How many ways do we die, within each way of being? How many deaths do we live, of the ego, of our false beliefs, of our illusions, attachments, and suppositions?
And so we may wonder, shall we choose to drag out each death, suffering by suffering, or will we reach a point of surrender, to allow the largest expression of Trust to lead us, wherever we may fall?
QUICK DEATH For a glass to break it must first fall from a height and in the shattering be returned to the dust from which it was made This destruction must happen for the form to be recreated explosive yet necessary for those who would be reborn Do not attempt to catch the shards as they fly but let them burst open down to the cellular structure that has been their definition and there you will find it the freedom the nothingness you so desire Do not chase it but rather take it as your own Do not resist it but rather predispose yourself to it Do not pretend its absence but rather be unashamed of it and as the shattering continues you will lose your awareness of it as pain and find instead that hot peace burning in its stead as you ride the waves of a fearless pain relentless and forgiven because it is simply a decomposition of the old and is there any greater beauty than the rotting leaf that feeds the buds of spring Discover the wisdom in this beauty for there lies your courage It is everything as you die and are born and you die and are born and there is nothing but exquisite Love in every crumbling cliff in every decaying bone It is your bold celebration of this truthfulness that will awaken all who watch No more waiting It is all found here where there is no escape in your surrender to your sadness to the reconstruction of all that is your home Let go of any life raft for it is a quick death that you want once you welcome the depths of the sea
much love, Adi