"On Tuesday, the Federal Bureau of Investigation released a report titled “Active Shooter Incidents in the United States in 2021,” which logged sixty-one mass shootings last year.
The violence we see all around us, personal and global, is a failure of development. Period. The seed is not the cause, or to be blamed for being planted in poor soil, not being watered, isolated, shoved in a dark closet, screamed at, compared, humiliated, ignored, beaten, or illuminated by a screen instead of nature’s sunlight. Then, when these stunted plants grow sharp tangled thorns, we blame them for moral failure, punish them, chastise, incarcerate, and kill them, self-righteously.
To blame guns, TV, video games, Twinkies, the bully next door, bad genes, and all the rest, for the pervasive violence, self-mutilation, self-medication, suicide, and similar unbelievable acts on others, is simply a misguided defense, empowering our justifications to continue to fail at our most basic challenge and responsibility; modeling what it means to be a whole, connected, available, awake, sensitive, empathically-entangled human beings. After all, that is what every child needs and is desperately screaming about, real and inspiring models.
We are responsible for the society we co-create by our willing acceptance and participation, not guns or any other tool. We are responsible for the behaviors we model and allow at home. We are responsible for everything that happens at school, the form, structure, comparisons, curriculum, rewards, and punishments. We are responsible for everything our children experience with screen technologies. All the barbed wire around our schools, police, and metal detectors, won’t fix a thing. Rather, more of the same will only intensify the loneliness, hopelessness, despair, and inner rage our broken children feel."
"And in fact, more damage occurs with the sensory deprivation of pleasure than the actual experiencing physical painful trauma, which can be handled quite well in individuals who were brought up with a great deal of physical affectional bonding and pleasure which carries with it emotional trust and security. We really have to look at the trauma of sensory deprivation of physical pleasure and that translates into the separation experiences, the isolation experiences of the infant from the mother. [Basic trust.] That’s the beginning."
"Failed nurturing, broken bonds, abuse, and betrayals of intimacy of young boys, who are far more vulnerable biologically and therefore psychologically than females. These are the predator males that grow up drawn to positions of power; heads of corporations, finance, the military, police, and politicians. What goes around, comes around.
What is not apparent to most is that early sensory deprivation of affection, abuse, and neglect lead to play deprivation in children and adults. Play being nature’s design for optimum growth and development. No basic trust, no play, no real development, rather, defensive conditioning."
"Our children become what we are, not what we tell them to be. The greatest gift of being a parent is the realization that the love we experience for our children is the most powerful wake-up call to be the best human being we can be because our kids are watching, every moment, from the inside out. Holding on to our kids implies modeling our very best, and simultaneously this holding and modeling creates the strongest and most resilient shield to protect our children from the predators who are less fortunate.
As every pregnant mother knows, eating and breathing for two changes the care and attention she gives to every bite and every breath. Mindfulness on steroids. For the connected parent, that mindfulness never stops. Realizing how we act, the way we speak, the care, attention, presence, and empathy we model every day is what our children are becoming, in their own way, of course, becomes the greatest incentive to uplift ourselves, and therefore the world. Something cell phones, surveillance cameras, police, and metal detectors can never do."
BROKEN KIDS, NOT GUNS
https://ttfuture.org/blog/michael/broken-kids-not-guns
"On Tuesday, the Federal Bureau of Investigation released a report titled “Active Shooter Incidents in the United States in 2021,” which logged sixty-one mass shootings last year.
The violence we see all around us, personal and global, is a failure of development. Period. The seed is not the cause, or to be blamed for being planted in poor soil, not being watered, isolated, shoved in a dark closet, screamed at, compared, humiliated, ignored, beaten, or illuminated by a screen instead of nature’s sunlight. Then, when these stunted plants grow sharp tangled thorns, we blame them for moral failure, punish them, chastise, incarcerate, and kill them, self-righteously.
To blame guns, TV, video games, Twinkies, the bully next door, bad genes, and all the rest, for the pervasive violence, self-mutilation, self-medication, suicide, and similar unbelievable acts on others, is simply a misguided defense, empowering our justifications to continue to fail at our most basic challenge and responsibility; modeling what it means to be a whole, connected, available, awake, sensitive, empathically-entangled human beings. After all, that is what every child needs and is desperately screaming about, real and inspiring models.
We are responsible for the society we co-create by our willing acceptance and participation, not guns or any other tool. We are responsible for the behaviors we model and allow at home. We are responsible for everything that happens at school, the form, structure, comparisons, curriculum, rewards, and punishments. We are responsible for everything our children experience with screen technologies. All the barbed wire around our schools, police, and metal detectors, won’t fix a thing. Rather, more of the same will only intensify the loneliness, hopelessness, despair, and inner rage our broken children feel."
"And in fact, more damage occurs with the sensory deprivation of pleasure than the actual experiencing physical painful trauma, which can be handled quite well in individuals who were brought up with a great deal of physical affectional bonding and pleasure which carries with it emotional trust and security. We really have to look at the trauma of sensory deprivation of physical pleasure and that translates into the separation experiences, the isolation experiences of the infant from the mother. [Basic trust.] That’s the beginning."
"Failed nurturing, broken bonds, abuse, and betrayals of intimacy of young boys, who are far more vulnerable biologically and therefore psychologically than females. These are the predator males that grow up drawn to positions of power; heads of corporations, finance, the military, police, and politicians. What goes around, comes around.
What is not apparent to most is that early sensory deprivation of affection, abuse, and neglect lead to play deprivation in children and adults. Play being nature’s design for optimum growth and development. No basic trust, no play, no real development, rather, defensive conditioning."
"Our children become what we are, not what we tell them to be. The greatest gift of being a parent is the realization that the love we experience for our children is the most powerful wake-up call to be the best human being we can be because our kids are watching, every moment, from the inside out. Holding on to our kids implies modeling our very best, and simultaneously this holding and modeling creates the strongest and most resilient shield to protect our children from the predators who are less fortunate.
As every pregnant mother knows, eating and breathing for two changes the care and attention she gives to every bite and every breath. Mindfulness on steroids. For the connected parent, that mindfulness never stops. Realizing how we act, the way we speak, the care, attention, presence, and empathy we model every day is what our children are becoming, in their own way, of course, becomes the greatest incentive to uplift ourselves, and therefore the world. Something cell phones, surveillance cameras, police, and metal detectors can never do."